Money Panic in Divorce

One of the hardest moments for a couple in the collaborative divorce process or mediation is when they see that their projected budgets exceed their monthly income.  In my office that moment comes when we are all looking at the budget form on a large computer monitor.  The last number is plugged into the form and the totals appear at the bottom.  Then…

Silence.  Or moans.  Sometimes tears.  For the really loose couples, laughter.

This moment taps into what can be a couples’ deepest fears about whether they and/or their children are going to be OK. 

Here is the interesting thing that I’ve found:  This moment is the same for most people, no matter how much money they make.

Couples that make $500,000 a year (or more) typically have the same reaction as the couples that make $50,000 a year (or less).  Almost invariably, their projected budgets exceed their incomes.

And, almost invariably, it works out.  Through some combination of raising incomes, lowering expenses or using assets, couples find solutions to their financial and cash flow issues.

The point of this is that if you are facing a separation or a divorce, try not to let the cash flow and financial issues panic you.  Understand that the fears about money are part of the process. There is almost always a solution out there, no matter your income level.  You may just need to work harder to find it.

Testimonial from Collaborative Divorce

I have handled many collaborative divorce cases.  However, I have never gone through the process as a client.  So, it is difficult for me to fully explain to clients what the process will feel like for them.  

However, Haleh Modasser has been through the process recently.  So, her story is far more powerful than anything that I can tell others about the process.  

The Best Video on Collaborative Divorce

The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals has released a video that follows a real couple through their collaborative divorce.  These people are not actors.  

It provides the best idea of what the collaborative practice looks and feels like of any resources that I have seen.

If you or someone you know is contemplating a separation or divorce, please share this video with them.  It could literally have an impact on their families and children for years to come.  

It may be the biggest favor that you ever do for them.  

New Divorce Options Presentation

I find that many clients are completely unaware that they can actually choose the process for resolving their family law or divorce issues.  

As many people are stunned to discovery, in North Carolina you don't have to go to court to resolve the issues of property division, cash flow, support (alimony and child support), and co-parenting (child custody).

While a legal divorce does require court action, the other and usually more pressing issues can be resolved privately, through a number of other processes.  

I have created a presentation that explains the basics of each process and briefly analyzes the pros and cons of each.  This was initially presented to a large Triangle company through its employee services program.  But, I think many more people can benefit from this information.

This informaiton may help you discuss your options with each other, and with any professionals that you consult.  

Feel free to contact me if you have questions about this information.  

Unexpected Costs of Child Custody Battles

There are many costs involved in fighting a custody battle in court.  Some of these costs are obvious;  attorneys’ fees, delays in reaching resolution, acrimony and stress for parents, families and children are par for the course in a child custody lawsuit.

But, as Halle Berry’s recent custody battle highlights, custody fights can take a toll on all areas of the parents’ lives, including their careers.  

Berry recently left the set of a movie she was filming due to her custody battle.  While we can’t know for sure, I would venture to guess that she gave up a large sum of money when she left that set. 

Berry has the luxury of leaving a high paying job to manage the stress, work and trauma of a custody battle. She will easily find jobs in the future and she will hardly miss the income from this one movie. 

But, most of us cannot afford to sacrifice a job to keep up with a custody lawsuit.  Therefore, we have to manage the stress, time demands, emotions and financial costs of a custody battle while also trying to keep our jobs.   Many parents find this very difficult, but only discover the difficulties of litigation after they are neck deep in the quicksand of a lawsuit.

Before you decide whether to resolve your child custody dispute in court, analyze whether you can afford all of the potential costs.  If you have any doubts, I would encourage you to investigate non-litigation options before filing a lawsuit.

Randolph (Tré) Morgan III is an experienced family law attorney accepting cases in Raleigh, Cary, Apex, Garner, Fuquay-Varina, Clayton, Smithfield, Wake Forest, RTP, Durham, Chapel Hill, Holly Springs and surrounding areas.  He focuses his practice in divorce, child custody, alimony, child support, equitable distribution, property division, paternity, guardianship and other family related matters.